Tommorrow is the first Thanksgiving without Vivian. Many friends have called, invitations have been received, many kindnesses have been demonstrated toward me. For these I am thankful. The next three months are going to be very painful with very deep grieving. I am going to keep in rememberance that Vivian is not grieving at all, that she is experiencing the joy, all the time, that we all designed to have, had not Adam and Eve made the mistake of the ages. We will only get there through the painful portal of death, just as Vivian did February 28 this year. Practically speaking, I am going to do whatever it takes to minimize my pain this Christmas season. It probably will mean scheduling some things differently that in the past for just this Christmas season only. All the old traditions will bring forth memories, and I am not sure I can bear them. The past two days have been incredibly rough, even before the holiday itself. I take sweet joy in the assurance that Vivian no longer fights this life's battles; she had more than her share in her lifetime, and she overcame them all, and finished well. It is on this inspiration and example that I must focus, not on the pain of my grief and missing her. Dear God, help us with our daily challenges and live boldly as Vivian did, by faith, trusting you no matter what.
Wayne
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Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. We are blessed and have a lot to be thankful for.
Someone asked me if I felt "cheated" having my mother die. I said, that I do not feel cheated at all. The life we were so blessed to experience was very, very full. I do not really feel "cheated" or "robbed". But then I thought, really, if I were to feel robbed or cheated of anything, it would be the cancer that cheated us. However, terminal illnesses are just part of this fallen world. And thankfully, we have the assurance that through Jesus Christ, we too can stand in God's presence, away from the hindrances and bonds and sicknesses of this fallen world.
To me, to feel cheated would mean that I am angry at God, or doubt His will. I am not angry about my mother's sickness and death. I am sad, and I miss her - beyond what words can express....but I was blessed with a Godly mother and father, a Godly heritage. They taught me, in life and in death, what the true purpose of all this is......and that is Hope, and Peace, and Love, and Patience and Long Suffering, and whatsoever things are beautiful.....those are the things that I was given. Thank you Daddy, and thank you Mommy. (I know, I know, she's not reading this, but it makes me feel better to tell her thank you.)
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with THANKSGIVING let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, SHALL keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 6-9
She set a good example for us.
Thank you Sarah, good words,
Love,
Dad
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