Dear Sarah, Aaralyn, and Joshua, and Charles, Josiah, Heather, Noah, and Sam:
We need to view this first Christmas without Vivian as very special and very precious, and as the first Christmas Vivian is spending in heaven with our Savior, and it will be the very best Christmas for her ever. Her joy is in its fullness, and she knows how much we are loved and cared for in a way we do not, and cannot begin to comprehend. Yes, we should dedicate this Christmas to her, and celebrate it in joy. Time does not matter in heaven, so she knows that we will be joining her in a few minutes, although it will seem like years to us.........
Love,
Dad
November 6, 2007
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Those who knew my mom would know that Christmas was a VERY BIG deal to her. She had a bunch of traditions that we did. The last Christmas of her life, very sick and worn, and in much, much pain, she traveled to Ohio and then to Oklahoma, to celebrate Christmas. Sadly, I felt it was the last Christmas of her life - but I did not want to believe it.
She shopped for our presents in Georgia, and called me to ask me questions about the gifts. I could hear in her voice that she was weak, tired, and in much pain. I told her to go home and get in bed.....
Growing up, Daddy would use the term "troops" or "troopers" to describe us in a complimentary way, when he thought we were being particularly strong or courageous. It has always been an for me to hear my dad refer to me as a one of the troops, or a trooper.
Mommy was certainly quite a trooper.
Thanksgiving is upon us tomorrow, and the rest of the Holiday season is facing us. Each member of Vivian's family has grieving to do in their own way. The first Holiday season is the most difficult. The past 48 hours has been a challenge for me. It will help to remember that Vivian is enjoying the real purpose of Christmas in reality and presence. I think this season will simply be survivial for me, whatever it takes. Christmas is supposed to be the opposite of grieving, that is our expectations, but for this particular Christmas, the expectations won't be the same as previous years. And we will go forward and build new expectations and joys.
Wayne
Vivian finished her work here and it was beyond measure. Her example is inspiring.
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